She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
