Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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