ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
