is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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