Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
