we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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