I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic