I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
