try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
