I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
