he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
