I want to have your abortion
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize