Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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