Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
