So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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