i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
