How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
