If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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