whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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