My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
