just come out here and I will go home with you...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
