I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have post one night stand depression
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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