I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
