Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
