Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
