found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
