Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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