You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize