How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
