Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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