literally had 100 drinks last night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize