i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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