Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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