Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
