Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's Friday. Sex?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
