woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
