I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
