But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
