she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
