Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
