I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We're too hungover to prance.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
