I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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