Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
