i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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