Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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