...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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