I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
