just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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