We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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