She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Alive.
So much puke
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
