How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
