Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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