we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
