I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
