we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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