She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
