i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
