moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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