I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I had to cum in my sink.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
