I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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