There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
