I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
